Dear Nnditsheni Tshikosi,
You’re 23 now, no longer a baby. That’s weird, it makes me feel old, and
I don’t like it.
It is 11:02PM 10 March 2015 and I can’t sleep, I am thinking about you and how you’ve
grown up when I wasn’t looking. I was looking at you this past weekend when you
came to visit, and I realized that you are no longer just my little Cousin (mulugu,
like Gran would call you) you are a woman, and though you don’t see it, in many
ways you already are one. We’re very different, you and I. You are a happier,
kinder soul than I was at 23. You’re also really smart, congratulations on getting
your degree on record time (well almost).
But there are some things I’ve learned, from surviving in my young adult
years that I want to share with you. So, in the spirit of unsolicited ‘sisterly’
advice, here’s what I want you to know based on my own experiences as well
others peoples experiences.
On Your Beauty:
Society is ugly. According to them you will never be thin enough, toned
enough, pretty enough, or perfect enough. The truth? YOU ARE ENOUGH. Right now,
exactly as you are. Your beautiful curves, your juicy lips, your brown skin; these
things make YOU, and YOU will always be
enough.
I LOVE your Lips. Lips are one of your signatures. Learn to rock them.
You have perfect lips that work, they will one day give your husband angel
kisses and a bright beautiful smile. They work for Angelina Jolie (even all
Kardashians are getting fake ones, thanks to lip injections)and now they work for you. Your Brown skin is
perfect. You already win at life. You are a stunning, elegant beauty naturally.
Be adventurous and wild(not too wild) and wear what you love, but always be
you.
On Boys:
So much of this time in your life
is self-discovery and learning through trial and error. This is your journey
and no one can tell you how to navigate it, but I hope that what I’m about to
say will merit a tiny space in your rapidly increasing knowledge base and that
you will think back on it from time to time and it will help you choose better
than others before you. Boys can make you feel the best you’ve ever felt, and
the worst. They can make you laugh until your abs hurt, and they can make you
cry so hard you feel as though you’ll never get over it. I promise you that in
your life you will experience a little of both (if you ever need me to share
tears of any kind, or make a guy disappear, I’m here). The most important thing
is that you nurture your sense of humor and your mind.
Don’t be afraid to be smart. Be friends with boys who are nice to you.
Surround yourself with boys who are respectful to their moms, and not too mean
to their sisters. And if they recognize you for your wit, your confidence, and
your laugh more than just your stunning physical attributes, you’re laying the
groundwork for some good stuff later on.
On how I’ll always love you:
Many people will have opinions and advice, but they didn’t Play Hide and
seek with you, or watch kideo with you every day after school, or have to deal
with you wearing my clothes on Guy Fawkes Day LOL. I know I stay far away, and
I don’t always keep in touch, but you are my baby-cousin, and I love you
fiercely. I am proud of the young woman you are becoming. If I lived closer, we
would have this conversation over our red velvet cake and oros, but I thought a
letter would be more fun.
Remember that God should always be first in your life, in all your ways involve
him, he will never live nor forsake you.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake,
Cousin Khethi
